“The Stars I’d Like to be Married To” by Dorothy Kilgallen, Photoplay, June 1944

This post is a part of TMP’s Historical Context series, where I share excerpts from my vintage magazine collection.

The June 1944 issue of Photoplay (with a beautiful Olivia de Havilland cover, one of my favorites in my collection) includes a feature by Dorothy Kilgallen called “The Stars I’d Like to be Married To (If I weren’t already Mrs. Richard Kollmar).”

From my collection; Photographed for TMP
From my collection; Photographed for TMP

In this feature, Kilgallen selects eleven Hollywood men she’d like to wed, defending her choices in five columns of text. Why choose stars? “Hollywood men have everything!,” Kilgallen writes. “I mean, if you collect enough of them they have everything among them.” (Badum-TSK!) Below are her dream men and justifications!

Frank Sinatra
“Sinatra: He heads the list just because — well, you guess why!”

Reasons to wed:

  • Frank’s used to getting screamed at by young fans, so he’s less likely to fall prey to the next “pretty wolf in she’s clothing” who comes along and tries to steal him away.
  • He’s good at putting feelings into words.
  • He’ll sing to you.

Adrian
“Good possibility to love, honor and obey – the versatile Adrian.”

Reasons to wed:

  • He can design unique clothes for you, so you’ll never have to worry about seeing another girl wearing the same outfit as you at an event!
  • He won’t laugh at you if you want to wear a “mad” hat.
  • He only has one name, so you don’t have to remember a first, middle and last!

Bob Hope
“Promising husband material – and a guy who should have a special Hollywood Oscar.”

Reasons to wed:

  • He’ll keep you in stitches (though not the same type as Adrian).
  • You can be proud of him, because he’s one of Hollywood’s biggest earners.
  • He doesn’t take candy away from kids.

Jimmy Stewart
“Jimmy Stewart is a must candidate for my masculine menage.”

Reasons to wed:

  • He’s got all-American looks.
  • You’ll make all of his glamorous ex-girlfriends envious by being the one to snag him.
  • He’s down to earth and has boyish charm that will last through old age.

Don Ameche
“There’s plenty of reason – and rhyme – for choosing Ameche.”

Reasons to wed:

  • The name “Dorothy Ameche” sounds “so peachy!”
  • He looked distinguished while playing an old man in Heaven Can Wait, so you can be sure he’ll age well.
  • He’s played a lot of historical characters, so you can feel like you’re married to them all without having to commit bigamy!
Photographed for TMP
Photographed for TMP

Joel McCrea
“Selected for reasons obvious to any feminine eye: Joel McCrea”

Reasons to wed:

  • His looks “meet all requirements.”
  • He’s a devoted husband and father, as evidenced by his marriage to Frances Dee.
  • He’s a one-woman man – “an almost extinct species.”

Bing Crosby
“It’s a question of rationing when it comes to Bing.”

Reasons to wed:

  • His shower-singing will be nice to listen to.
  • He dresses casually, so you don’t have to worry about helping him match his socks with his tie.
  • You can travel together, since he’s always “on the Road to Somewhere.”

William Powell
“I’d slip a wedding ring on William Powell’s finger.”

Reasons to wed:

  • The Thin Man films “typed him as an adventurous, amusing, never-a-dull-moment sort of mate.”
  • He’s thoughtful and has great taste.
  • He’s not into practical gift-giving. He’ll design you a diamond necklace for your first anniversary.

Rudolph Sieber

Reasons to wed:

  • He’s “broadminded” and will let you go to premieres with other men.
  • He isn’t prone to jealousy.
  • He’s easy-going.

Charles Boyer
“Leading the dream prince department in my all-male harem…”

Reasons to wed:

  • He’s a romantic, the “diviiiiiiiine” “epitome of schmaltz.”
  • He’s not tall, but he’s handsome.
  • He doesn’t have much hair, but who needs it when he has so many other great attributes?

George Sanders
“An alternate on my team of husbands, in case one got lost or was late for dinner or went A.W.O.L.”

Reasons to wed:

  • He can’t ever complain that you don’t understand him, because no one understands him!

 

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2 thoughts on ““The Stars I’d Like to be Married To” by Dorothy Kilgallen, Photoplay, June 1944

  1. Whilst the feminist in me certainly isn’t a fan of this kind of ‘romantic’ kind of gushing I love how innocent this feature seems – you’d certainly be hard-pushed to find something similar in today’s magazines.
    (But if I HAD to pick one, it would totally be Adrian – the only thing that could persuade me to consider marriage would be a lifetime of free clothes!)

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    1. Yeah, there are a lot of features in old movie magazines that you don’t see the likes of in today’s entertainment mags. That’s why I enjoy reading them. I also love the fact that this is a 30-something woman making up a daydreamy “male harem,” when we usually lists like this written the other way around!

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