Collector’s Corner: The 10 Worst Films I Own, According to Letterboxd

After cataloging every film I own in a Letterboxd list, I realized I had the option to sort the list by average rating. Naturally, I was curious what the results would be. In the last Collector’s Corner we looked at the ten “best” films I own, based on average rating. Here are the 10 worst films!

10. Hillbillys in a Haunted House (1967)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “Country singers on their way to Nashville have car trouble, forcing them to stop at an old haunted mansion. Soon they realize that the house is not only haunted, but is also the headquarters of a ring of international spies after a top secret formula for rocket fuel.”
Average rating:
2.2/5
Country crooners, haunted mansions, and spies played by veterans of the monster movie circuit? It’s a wild watch, but you’re certain never to see anything else like it. Letterboxd says “tenth worst,” I say “Classic of the Corn.”

9. The Bachelor (1999)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “Jimmie is seeing his single friends get married one by one. He isn’t too worried until his girlfriend Anne catches the bouquet at his friend Marco’s wedding.”
Average rating:
2.2/5
I feel like this movie gets a bad rep because people inevitably compare it to Buster Keaton’s wonderful Seven Chances, which it remakes. I happen to be a sucker for rom-coms and Renee Zellweger flicks from the late ’90s/early ’00s, so I enjoyed it.

8. Jack Frost (1998)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “A father who can’t keep his promises dies in a car accident. One year later, he returns as a snowman, who has the final chance to put things right with his son before he is gone forever.”
Average rating:
2.1/5
Yeah, the premise is ridiculous and there are some semi-offensive jabs directed at fatherless children, but I’ll be damned if I don’t stifle a few tears while watching this movie every Christmas season.

7. Rhinestone (1984)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “After a big-time country singer brags that she can turn anybody into a country-singin’ star, she’s out to prove she can live up to her talk when she recruits a cab driver as a country singer.”
Average rating:
2.1/5
How can anyone hate a movie that stars Dolly Parton and brought us the brilliance of “Drinkenstein,” as performed by tone-deaf Sylvester Stallone?

6. The Hot Chick (2002)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “Not only is Jessica Spencer the most popular girl in school – she is also the meanest. But things change for the attractive teen when a freak accident involving a cursed pair of earrings and a chance encounter at a gas station causes her to switch bodies with Clive, a sleazy crook.”
Average rating:
2.1/5
Out of all of the films in the “worst ten,” I understand this rating the most. The Hot Chick is a genuinely terrible film and I’m sure Rachel McAdams wants to forget it ever happened. But, my sister and I were tweens when it came out, and we quote it to this day. I keep it in the collection for our occasional nostalgia-fueled re-watch.

5. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part I (2011)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “The new found married bliss of Bella Swan and vampire Edward Cullen is cut short when a series of betrayals and misfortunes threatens to destroy their world.”
Average rating:
2.1/5
I was actually surprised that only one Twilight film landed on the list, until I realized I only own the final two of these cornballers. I think Part II should actually be in this spot. (“YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!”)

4. Beethoven’s 3rd (2000)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “Everyone’s favorite St. Bernard returns in this family film about man’s best friend. Richard Newton, his wife Beth and kids Brennan and Sara shove off in their camper for a road trip. Along the way, they gain a new passenger: slobbery Beethoven.”
Average rating:
2.0/5
Can’t argue in defense of this one since I haven’t actually watched it. I own it in a set with Beethoven and Beethoven’s 2nd, both of which are adorable childhood favorites.

3. Crossroads (2002)
Synopsis (from me, because the one on Letterboxd is long): Three estranged friends embark on a road trip from small town Georgia to Los Angeles after their high school graduation.
Average rating:
2.0/5
I whole-heartedly disagree with Letterboxd’s low opinion of this movie! It has its corn and its soapiness, but it’s also a sweet story of friendship, putting petty differences aside to support each other, and following your dreams. Eleven-year-old me loved it when I saw it in the theater, and it’s still in my regular re-watch rotation.

2. The Wicker Man (2006)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd): “A sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there’s a larger mystery to solve among the island’s secretive, neo-pagan community.”
Average rating:
1.8/5
Letterboxd needs to take a cue from my Corny Cliff Scale Score. The average of 1.8 actually seems high for the objective quality of this movie, but it has an iconic so-bad-it’s-amazing performance by Nicolas Cage that makes it well worth watching. “HOW DID IT GET BURNED?!”

And, the worst of all…

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Synopsis (from Letterboxd):
“Martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with TV shows from Earth which extol the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa.”
Average rating:
1.7/5
Can’t argue with the low ratings of this one but if you’re not the type to like sentimental Christmas flicks, corn classics are a nice alternative.

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7 thoughts on “Collector’s Corner: The 10 Worst Films I Own, According to Letterboxd

  1. realthog says:

    I haven’t seen all of these (deliberately, in a couple of cases), but I’m with you on Jack Frost. As sentimental Christmas fantasies for kids go, I’d say it’s pretty damn’ fine. I’ve watched it twice, and at a pinch would watch it again. Garbage, of course, but it does the job of telling its tale and getting the viewer to care.

    Like

  2. popegrutch says:

    I think #1 and #10 are the only ones I’ve seen. I’ve been moderately fascinated with Letterboxd’s ratings of my films as well. Certain things I think of as “really bad” wind up with moderate ratings, and others I kind of like hit the bottom. I can certainly see why “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” gets a low rating, but I enjoy it myself, so…

    Like

    • Lindsey says:

      Yeah, I felt that way about a lot of this list. Not objectively good, but enjoyable in their own way, to me. I always love seeing reviews/ratings from blogosphere friends when I add a new film to my diary there, too. A lot of films I love fall into the poor to middling range of ratings!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Todd B says:

    Well, we had some matches on the Top 10 list, but here…not only do I not own any of your worst ten, I’ve never SEEN any of your worst ten! You’d think ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’ would be one I’ve suffered through, but no, not yet! Whenever I get my discs added to Letterboxd, I’ll be sure to post my best and worst results so we can compare.

    Like

    • Lindsey says:

      Wow, I thought for sure you would have seen that one! I would actually recommend it, knowing our shared interest in cornballers haha. It’s cheesy fun, not ‘Invasion of the Star Creatures’ bad. Interested to see your results!

      Like

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