Snow tells the story of Sandy Brooks (Ashley Williams), an awkward zookeeper who has no talent for telling jokes and makes friends with the animals who inhabit the San Ernesto, California zoo because she doesn’t have any human friends. Sandy is constantly pursued by a pesky man named Buck (Patrick Fabian) who is always asking her for dates.

Given the task of buying some reindeer from a game farm for a Christmas exhibit at the zoo,  Buck instead decides to capture some deer from the wild, because this transparently-named character has a hobby of — you guessed it — big game hunting!

If you're a serious corn devotee, you can own these films as a double feature! Even I'm not brave enough to add this set to my collection. (Image via Amazon)
If you’re a serious corn devotee, you can own these films as a double feature! Even I’m not brave enough to add this set to my collection. (Image via Amazon)

Things get a little sticky for Buck, Sandy and the zoo when Buck captures Santa’s newest reindeer, Buddy, and Santa (aka Nick Snowden, portrayed by Tom Cavanagh) comes to San Ernesto to get his reindeer back.

This is an unusual Christmas flick in that it portrays Santa not as a jolly, old, chubby man with a large beard, but as a lanky 30-something who apparently got a master’s degree in quirk. He’s hyper, every bit as awkward as Sandy the Zookeeper and is able to travel through mirrors.

This kooky characterization continues in Snow 2: Brain Freeze. Spoiler alert: by the time the second film begins, Nick and Sandy are married. It’s a few years later, three days before Christmas, and Nick has completely forgotten his plans to spend time with his wife before his big trip around the world to drop presents into people’s chimneys.

On one of his mirror travels, Nick emerges and winds up with amnesia. Not only does he still have zero recollection of his plans with his wife, but now he has no recollection of his Christmas duties either. Sandy must save Christmas by bringing Nick’s memory back, but old foe Buck is back again to terrorize the North Pole-dwelling couple.

(Photo via ABC Family)
(Photo via ABC Family)

I love Christmas. It’s one of the only times of year that I feel like my love for corny films is acceptable, because let’s be honest — the spirit of Christmas puts everyone in the mood for cheddar-smothered sentimentality. Who better to serve up a heaping bowl of just that than the geniuses at ABC Family?

Released four years apart, in 2004 and 2008 respectively, Snow and Snow 2: Brain Freeze are two of the cheesiest things that have emerged from the channel’s annual 25 Days of Christmas programming. Here on TMP, these two films definitely fall into the Classics of the Corn Hall of Fame/Shame. Curl up with a big ol’ blanket (to protect you from all of the snow… badum-tsk!) and enjoy these two terrible films on Netflix if you’re looking to add a bit of corn to your holiday season.